Monday, March 19, 2012

So little information out there!

I've been looking on Google and Amazon for material about sexual abuse in marriage.  There's not much out there!  I realize this is a "not happy" topic for anyone, but I'm wondering if I'm the only one ready to talk about it and get it out in the open.  Surely there are multitudes of women who have suffered this kind of abuse in marriage!  If you're one of them speak up!


  1. Thank you for your comment on my blog.

    I agree that it needs to be talked about. That's why I blog.

    Best wishes on your book.

    1. MissRobin, my book is not published on Amazon: "To Love and to Cherish...facing sexual abuse in marriage" by D. Anne Pierce. I hope you find it helpful and will pass it on to other women dealing with this. Maybe someone needs some clarity as to what abuse really is, and how to deal with it.


  2. I'm so glad I found your blog! Thanks for your courage. I know it will help many other women. I have also been looking at narcissism in relation to sexual abuse in marriage and I think it has a lot to do with why they do what they do. A narcissistic husband's needs and wants are the most important thing, far above what his wife thinks or feels, and she is there to meet his needs.

    I never really felt like I had a "marriage", where two people share, dialogue, work things out, and share some more. It was always all about him.

    Thanks again and I look forward to learning from you.

  3. Goodness! I just read this comment. Yes! I was married to a man who was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I think the two are highly interconnected. You might like my blog on being married to a narcissist. It is on this page:
    You have lived quite a life. I now live in WA but my parents met at U of A. I have lots of family in AR. I dearly love that part of the country! I would move back in a heartbeat except that I want to live close to my kids and grandchildren.
    Thank you for your work.

  4. Hi Mary,
    Great to hear from you! I moved back to NW Arkansas after my divorce and I love living there. My husband and I were Baptist missionaries in South America for 24 years. He was and is an awesome missionary and gets the work done, but at home it was a different story. When I left, I left with 3 suitcases and 4 boxes, at 48 years of age. I left house, car, health insurance and the life I had known for all of my adult life. All I had for sure was God, my children, my family and a few wonderful close friends. It was worth it though as I love my new life. I have to say that God is good and He has shown Himself to be faithful in every way!

    I read your blog and tried to add a comment, but I'm not sure I did everything right. I'm new to blogging and still learning! I will try again. I'm so glad that you are speaking up and others can learn from you. Having a community of women who have shared similar life circumstances and suffering is a great thing, isn't it?

    How did you manage to get your husband to a counselor/therapist and obtain the diagnosis? My husband (ex) would not hear of going to get help because he wasn't the problem-I was. If I would just "do what I was supposed to do", we wouldn't have a problem! It's interesting that your husband agreed to get help and thus be confronted with the fact that he had a problem. I'd like to hear more about that if you care to share.

    I hope my book will be of help to others and I know it will be a huge part of my healing journey.


  5. Last night I had some memories put up...but I didn't give them much attention, and didn't write them down. Today I have forgotten again. I wanted to remember so I could deal with the memories, and incorporate them into my writing...I'll have to wait til they're ready to pop up again :-(

  6. I meant "memories pop up". Typing too fast.

  7. I'm not going to enjoy writing my book on this forces me to think about things that I had laid to rest. I find myself thinking more about my ex, although not in a very positive light. I don't like being critical of other people, even when they have hurt me. Remembering things that happened during our 27 years of marriage makes me feel that I'm being critical and writing about them even more so.

    I still know that I need to write the book, not only for my sake but for other women who are living with the hurt, confusion and feeling of being lost.

    Hasta Pronto!

  8. Last night I was watching a movie about Mary Winkler, the preacher's wife who was sexually and physically abused by her husband. When she was on the witness stand describing the things that he made her do, I got nauseated. I had to take a shower and ended up scrubbing myself while I cried. It caught me off guard completely. Still peeling back those onion layers...