Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Sexual Abuse in Marriage

I'm working on an eBook about sexual abuse in marriage.  A lot has been written about sexual assault, recovery, and childhood sexual abuse, and much of this has been helpful to those who have suffered these things.  I haven't found much about sexual abuse within marriage though.  Personally, I experienced it and want to open up this topic so other wives can share their pain and find support.

I'm thinking that many women don't dare share the dark secrets that happen in the bedroom for fear of their partner's reaction.  Fear is a big word in this case-fear of what others will think, fear that I'm just imagining things, fear that it will "blow up" in my face and things will be worse than ever.  There's also the fear of the unknown...if I face this squarely, what will happen? Will my marriage end? Will I be alone?  Will I be pennyless and destitute?  Will my family and friends believe me or will they shun me?

I finally had the courage to stop the madness, about 4 years ago.  I have to say that a few close friends were there for me, and I don't know if I could have done it without their support.  Thank you friends! (You know who you are)!

More to come on this topic.


  1. Hi Debbie,
    You commented on my blog on sexual abuse within marriage on Hub Pages. I am so ready to talk about the horror of domestic abuse in all of its forms! I was afraid to talk about it for a long time. I really don't care now. I think that shining the light on dark subjects is necessary to bring about change. I am currently working on a redemption course of study (Christian) for women who are escaping domestic/sexual/substance abuse. It seems like a lot of this stuff is a package deal. I noticed that the women I work with who are living "on the edge" often drag a long train of abuses behind them. It is not even to address just domestic assault, or sexual assault, or abortion related trauma, or substance abuse. It seems like a lot of this stuff is a package deal. I think we might have a lot to talk about. We could feed info and expertise with one another.

  2. Mary,

    The course you're writing for women in these difficult situations is going to be a great resource for them! Women's shelters all over the U.S. could benefit from having this course available and a volunteer to lead the course.

    You are in a great place in your life to mentor younger women through their journey!

    I'll look forward to hearing more about your course.